Poems from the Old Guard

Floyd Stormer, CWO4 (ENG) U.S. Coast Guard (Retired) Crossed the Bar: July 21, 1999
The Coast Guard Written aboard the MACKINAW, Not long after Floyd joined the Coast Guard. He had spent 4 years in the Navy in WW2, then couldn’t find a job at home so joined the CG. I thought I’d quit the Navy, with its women and its booze And relax and take things easy on a quiet Coast Guard cruise I decided to be a surf man and really take my ease In a peaceful little station beside the rolling seas It’s not what I expected, in fact it’s quite a jolt With the seamen all after cox’n and cutting each others throat Us poor motor macs we have to work, which is much to my sorrow As the bosn’s mates are acting like they’re making Chief tomorrow And on the cold dark winters eve, which should be full of cheer We’re plowing out the Cayahoga to pay for Captains beer
Coast Guard Christmas ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THROUGH EACH STATE COAST GUARD FAMILIES WERE STARTING TO CELEBRATE JUST THEN FROM THE WHITE HOUSE CAME AN URGENT CALL A CRISIS HAD ARISEN THAT WOULD AFFECT ONE AND ALL IN FACT THE U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT WAS FRANTIC FOR SANTA CLAUS HAD JUST LANDED IN THE ATLANTIC IT WAS FOGGY AS EVER, RUDOLPH HAD MADE A BLUNDER SANTA, AND SLEIGH AND EIGHT REINDEER WERE GOING UNDER THOUGH THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG BY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE POOR SANTA GURGLED, "I’LL NEVER GET THERE’ WHEN WHAT TO HIS WONDERING EYES SHOULD APPEAR BUT SOME COAST GUARD CUTTERS WITH THEIR RESCUE GEAR THE OFFICERS AND CREW WERE SO LIVELY AND QUICK SURE WAS A LUCKY BREAK FOR GOOD OLE SAINT NICK WITH A NOD FROM THE CAPTAIN, THEY WENT RIGHT TO WORK RUDOLPH WAS EMBARRASSED, HE FELT LIKE A JERK POOR SANTA WAS SOGGY, BUT AS ANYONE COULD SEE HE WAS VERY GRATEFUL TO THE U.S.C.G.! AND WE HEARD HIM EXCLAIM AS THEY TOWED HIM FROM SIGHT "IF IT WEREN’T FOR AGE AND WEIGHT, I’D ENLIST TONIGHT!"
Lifeboat She’s solid oak from stern to stem In these days of iron and steel A stubby broad ungainly craft From her deck down to her keel But when the seas are running high And the wind howls loud and long She comes crashing through the raging storm Enjoying the Nor’ Easters song And to the mariner in distress The most beautiful thing afloat To come bearing down through the howling gale Is the Coast Guard Motor Lifeboat
	Roll This poem was written while on Ice Patrol on the USCGC DUANE, the "Queen of the Seas." This was Jan 1958, 200 miles north of Ireland, 55-60 ft seas. Roll on you dark gray ocean, Roll You tear my guts and try my soul You roll me from my hammock bed And even off the rolling head You dump my meals upon the deck And wrap the rigging round my neck the ships hull shakes and shrieks and groans Striking terror in my bones The propeller throbs in water deep Then flails the air on the next leap Everything awash, my stateroom reeks And I ain’t been dry in near two weeks The life for "He Men" I’ve been told It must be true cause GOD I’M COLD! Where do they find darn fools like me Dumb enough go to sea
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ‘Twas the night before Christmas, no one’s very jolly We were steaming in circles on ocean station "Charlie"No stockings were hung, no chimneys were there And I’d just lost the pot to a lousy two-pair The Mid-Watch was weary, as was the O.D. Most especially the radar man in C.I.C. Their scopes are all dark, no aircraft in sight For who would be flying this cold Christmas night? Then a strange looking target shows up on the screen Unlike any target they have ever before seen Long, lean and narrow, and very very high The unnatural craft is just leaping through the sky It suddenly falters then starts a queer flight And the G.Q. alarm shrieks in the night "Take plane ditching stations, an aircraft in trouble There in the fantail, lay foam on the double" The ditch lights go over the sea lane to mark And help bring the pilot down safe in the dark It loses altitude swiftly as it passes O’er the ship Then turns into the glide path like cracking a whip The search lights are shining out into the night As we wait for the aircraft to break into the light His engines are quiet, no sound do we hear Then into the light speeds six tiny reindeer There is the sleigh all piled high with toys Ready to be delivered to good girls and boys "There’s Santa Claus" someone shouts with glee But poor Santa’s hanging on as tight as can be With a screech and a crash, they land on the deck And poor Santa’s sleigh is a terrible wreck Poor Santa is sobbing, he’s feeling real bad "Oh Dear" said Santa "what a terrible fright And I’m afraid for the children there’s no toys tonight The harness straps broke when I just started my trip I’d have landed in the ocean if I hadn’t seen your ship Oh what a mess" and he started to cry "I’m feeling so bad I wish I could die there are thousands of children just waiting for me And here I am sleigh wrecked out here to sea" The crew knew their duty and when not to shirk The picked up their tools and went quickly to work The saws started singing, the lathe stared turning And out on the deck the bright touches were burning the hammers were pounding: the paint brushes flying And a cup of hot coffee soon hushed Santa's crying The harness was mended and thanks to the crew The broken down sleigh soon looked brand new The reindeer were harnessed and hitched to the sleigh And soon dear old Santa was up and away "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Donner and Blitzen Heave round there you Prancer and Vixen" And the last thing we heard as he took off like a plane Was, "Merry Christmas to all, and God Bless the DUANE
	From the Commandants Office. FROM COMDT COGARD TO USCGC DUANE COMEASTAREA CGC DUANE Your sitrep was welcomed with shouts of good cheer From children when told that St Nick would be here When told of the mishap both girls and boys Asked if St Nicholas lost any toys We assured them that everything on board was saved And would be delivered to kids that behaved We are told father time with his beard long and gray In a very few days will be passing your waY Keep your crew on their toes and your lookouts alert And similar mishap you many avert
	FROM USCGC BIBB TO DUANE A salute to the savior of millions of kids From your buddies at sea, proud of what you did Warriors against the raging main The valiant crew of the cutter DUANE Who rescued the toys For all girls and boys By the children all nestled in bed The highest tribute must be said T'was the DUANE who rescued the sled But one voice was heard to fret "Who in hell got my teddy bear wet?"
From: DUANE To: Commander Eastern Area Info: All OSV’S Sit rep #1 and final Santa and sled and reindeer together Ditched along side up because of bad weather No damage to Santa but some to the sleigh Unfortunately the foremast got in the way Half of the crew went over the side In an all out effort to save Santa’s hide The whole ‘gol darned works was ready to sink When we finally got Santa Claus out of the drink We fed all the reindeer and patched up the sleigh And sent old St Nicholas back on his way So please pass the word to kids far and near That Santa will be there on time never fear We are sorry it happened we think it’s a shame Merry Christmas to all from the Cutter DUANE
From: DUANE (Ocean Station Charlie) To ALL OSV’S (Ocean Station Vessels) US, FRANCE, DUTCH, GREAT BRITAIN Greetings from Charlie to all weather stations To ships of our own and all other nations Merry Christmas to all and to all a good year Fair weather, smooth sailing and Happy New Year
USCGC CASCO CASCO Enroute to Final OSV Station	NEW YEARS EVE AT SEA Steaming as before 80 turns on both shafts Heading into the seas, then putting them aft Up wind for awhile, then run off before’ Pitch, Roll and Pound, then Roll some more The C.O. sleeps well in his cabin below Because he’s convinced that his O.D.s ‘know’ The Exec lies snoring in his stateroom too After a movie and poker, there’s not much to do The Chief Engineer dozes, ‘tween each pleasant dream Of boiler exploding amidst clouds of steam Will the turbine hold up until he’s relieved? The lookout peers out in the stormy night Wishing that Boston and home were in sight Nothing there but a forty foot swell New Years Eve at sea is certainly hell Down below decks, in the engine spaces The watch stands ready to go through their paces "Let’s wait till they soogee, then we’ll blow tubes We’ll show those deck apes that we’re not boobs" The weather men ready a great big balloon And dream that they’re home in a local saloon Nothing to do, but sit and beef And wait for the CASCO to bring their relief Strike eight bells, change the watch Welcome the New Year without any Scotch Next year the DUANE will be moored at home And I won’t need to write any poem
ODE TO THE TAXPAYERS The Coast Guards a real tough outfit Whether at sea or upon the shore It’s the hard core around which the Navy forms When the U.S. goes to war Policemen, Lifesavers and Fighting men And damn fine sailors too You must be a quick change artist If you are one of the salty crew The liberty is bad but the budgets worse And in these days of high taxation We are still sailing in the same old ships Built by Hoover’s administration It’s the nations oldest seagoing outfit This I have heard from man lips But to properly complete the sentence, add.. "It has the nations oldest seagoing ships" Thirty thousand seasoned men Spread thinly near and far With duty upon duty Being added every year Billions for defense is great But just a few bucks more Would really be appreciated By we who work when there’s not a war And when they wave the flags and charge the guns We will be right in there pitching Adding that little extra Coast Guard touch Rescuing those who survive the ditching So when the tax man knocks upon your door Let go of your wallet and relent For out of every couple hundred thousand There is two bits that’s well spent		USCGC NORTHLAND USCGC STORIS USCGC AKLAK COAST GUARD LANDING PARTY